she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
