Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
