his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
