He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
