I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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