You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
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I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
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I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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