Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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