I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
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Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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