Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
