whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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