I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
