So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
