You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
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Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
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Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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