he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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