You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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