Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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