I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
