Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
