Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
