I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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