So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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