I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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