Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Two words: nipple clamps
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