Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
