benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
