It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
