In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
