I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
