never play flip cup with pint glasses
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
