I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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