so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I just want to make out with him forever
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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