C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
