im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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