Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
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