Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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