We tried having a conversation with our noses.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
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he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
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At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night