put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Blood and glitter go together right?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?