the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.