i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
