Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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