he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
