Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Operation Purity has been aborted
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
