In the future we'll all be gay
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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