when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
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