just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
