check it out our google latitudes are spooning
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
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