i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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