You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
