thus making me awesome and them whores
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize