i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Everclear isn't food dammit
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
