from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
