someone threw a dead crab at me
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
