He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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