he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
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Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
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Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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