can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
