She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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