I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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