Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
