butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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