I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
