redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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