I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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