i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
