I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
