It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
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